So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
