shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
