i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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