i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.