at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
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Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
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There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.