It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
