Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
false alarm. still invincible.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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