girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
