On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
