I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
My thoughts exactly.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.