I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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