That's intense
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
