Who did Billy Mays play for?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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