It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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