so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
