i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
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