I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
