she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
