the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
