she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
