i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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