Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
