I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
