Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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