I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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