bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
