Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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