I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
found the other keg... it's in the tree
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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