i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You are the jesus of drinking
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize