a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize