if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
