my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
