they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize