THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
