If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're breaking my sexual little heart
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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