She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
