Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
That was an excessively violent trivia night
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
