I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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