She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I need to wash the frat house off of me
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
