I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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