I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
