Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I will be naked everywhere
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
