do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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