doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
