I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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