I forgot how hot balto sounded
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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