i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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