i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
