If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
