but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
