oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize