I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
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I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
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then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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