You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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