I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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