What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
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He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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