They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
