I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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