i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
