feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
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