your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
that is very illegal...i love you.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
