girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
