do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
